How to build a ‘connection’ with colleagues at your workplace?

New to your workplace? Or relocated to some different location? Or you simply struggle to make and maintain healthy friendship with your coworkers at your current corporate job?

You probably would be wondering- How to build a real connection with colleagues without crossing professional boundaries? Because who wants to be a nosy colleague barging into personal lives and destroying any chance of potential friendships you could have developed at your workplace.

Then my friend, I have got a trick rolled up my sleeves just for you.

Are you ready for it? Here goes!

Ask questions.

Well, it’s kind of simple really. Not a fancy technique with an even more fancy name.

Just ask questions!

Be the first to initiate a conversation with a question. You don’t necessarily have to be on the answering end of the conversation. By asking the right questions, you can steer the conversation into any direction you want.

Just make sure not to ask something too personal. Not at least when you’ve only met the person.

Now, your next question would be- but Divya, what questions do I ask them?

Reader (shocked)- No! Why would I ask that? I can just ask them about… about… the weather?

Divya (facepalms)- No! That’s too boring!

Reader (pouts)- What? I can’t ask them about the weather?

Divya (sighs)- Of course you can! But I recommend you ask them about something more interesting.

Reader (clicks their fingers with realization)- Oh! What if I ask them about politics? Or even better, their current salary! This will even help me negotiate my own salary.

Divya facepalms again.

Reader (scrunches their nose)- What’s wrong with that?

Divya (raises an eyebrow)- Don’t you get it? It’s way too personal! Might as well directly offend the person you’re talking to!

Too nosy!

Reader (shrugs)- So what do I ask then? Since you’re at it, might as well tell some examples?

Divya- You can ask them about their interests, what they’re good at, any of their recent achievements you’re aware of and how they managed to achieve that. Or about any of their recent vacations.

Reader (nods)- That’s easy! I can do that!

Divya- Right. But an important thing to note here- show genuine interest. Don’t ask questions for the sake of asking questions. Ask questions to really know the person. Listen to their answers.

Mark Manson’s philosophy at work here- ‘if you’re trying too hard for something, you won’t get it.’ And if you’re trying too hard to build a connection with someone, you won’t build a real connection at all because people usually sense it when someone’s being too good, too good to be true.

Hence, don’t try, be authentic in your questions and to their answers.

You will gradually build connections.